Understanding One Another
Mirroring
EDITORIAL INTRODUCTION
A trapped finger makes an observer flinch; a wavering tightrope walker makes another person’s stomach lurch. In Rutger Bregman’s Humankind: A Hopeful History, Doug connects these reflexes to the Pygmalion and Golem effects: expectations and emotions pass between people. Mirroring can synchronize a dance floor and strengthen connection, but the same mechanism can also transmit envy, hatred, greed, and dangerous ideas.
A Note on the Original Text
Doug’s writings are presented as originally written. Spelling, punctuation, and grammatical irregularities have been retained to preserve his words and the integrity of the original record.
ORIGINAL WRITING
The content in this post is based on the book Humankind: A Hopeful History by Rutger Bregman.
The Pygmalion and Golem Effects are woven into the fabric of our world. Every day we make each other smarter or stupider, stronger or weaker, faster or slower. We can’t help leaking expectations, through our gazes, our body language and our voices. My expectations about you define my attitude towards you, and the way I behave towards you in turn influences your expectations and therefore your behavior towards me. If you think about it, this gets to the very crux of the human condition. Homo puppy is like an antenna, constantly attuned to other people. Somebody else’s finger gets trapped in the door and you flinch. A tightrope walker balances on a thin cord and you feel your stomach lurch. Someone yawns and it’s almost impossible for you not to yawn as well. We’re hardwired to mirror one another.
Most of the time this mirroring works well. It fosters connections and good vibes, as when everyones grooving together on the dance floor. Our natural instinct to mirror others tends to be seen in a positive light for precisely this reason, but the instinct works two ways. We also mirror negative emotions such as hatred, envy, and greed. And when we adopt another’s bad ideas—thinking them to be ideas everybody else holds—the results can be downright dangerous.